For those of you who may not know, it has not been a most festive season for me.
You see, my mother is dying.
I found out about a week or so ago, that she has cancer throughout her body, and had collapsed with a stroke that has left her all but paralyzed.
I got the first flight that I could to where she lives.
She's in terminal care, I guess.
When I got there, my brother swore up and down that she told him (odd because she cannot talk) that she didn't want any of us seeing her.That sounded so unlike Mom that I went and saw her regardless.
I hadn't seen her in over a year.
The sight would have rung tears from a stone. It sure did from me...Try to think of a frail,totally helpless,white haired very tiny,very little old lady asleep. Now add I.V.hoses and oxygen,and the fact that she cannot move or speak, but is cognizant.
I stroked her hair , kissed her cheek and told her that I missed her and that I loved her and that I wished I had said that more throughout the years. I also said that she didn't look as bad as my brother had said.
I said that I should go.Then she opened her eyes! I thanked her, because I knew that it was a true effort on her frail body.I told her that my brother said that she didn't want to see her, but that I couldn't believe that, so I just had to see her one more time. Then I left. I talked to the nurses for a few more minutes, but I just couldn't leave without saying good-bye one more time.
So I went back in and kissed her on the cheek,and said " I love you, Mom...Thank you for everything" Her eyes popped open, but they were looking off into space,until I said, "I'm over here" and her eyes moved over to meet mine.
The look of pure love in those eyes was my true Christmas gift.
I'll never forget this Christmas either.

Mom died 4:15 P.M. Jan 2, 2008.